2 Pairs of Glasses and 1 Shoe
by TheManhattanProject12
Summary: Dazai wakes up to find two pairs of glasses and a shoe with no recollection as to how he came to posses these items. Nevertheless, he proceeds (or attempts to) throughout the usual working ritual as hints and the occasional fist to the face work to unclog his memory. ***This stemmed from a prompt on Tumblr by unblockingwritersblock
1. Chapter 1

The warm golden rays of light flooded through the confines of the curtains and perforated the inner areas of the bedroom. The empty sake bottles littered throughout the room glistened, the wadded blankets warmed and awoke their inhabitant. A brown mop of hair suddenly emerged from the depths of the blanket sanctuary along with a flurry of curses.

Dazai begrudgingly sat up, effectively shedding the layer of covers that he had procured the prior night. As the coverings slipped off, three distinctive thuds emanated through the room prompting the man to locate the source of the noise. His eyes were immediately drawn to the floor on which sat two pairs of glasses and a shoe. Upon further inspection, it was noted that the two pairs of glasses were distinctly different from one another. The first set contained round and large lenses with a relatively high prescription while the second set had thin, rectangular lenses with chocolate brown arms.

"Omoshiroi, Omoshiroi!" The man exclaimed as he shot out from his bed "Today is guaranteed to be at the very least stimulating!". Dazai was in mid-landing as he noticed the object responsible for the third thump a tad too late, a red heel. He landed right on it and tripped, slamming into the bedroom closet face first.

"Oi, Dazai you blithering fool, keep your suicide attempts down!" A neighbor angrily shouted causing Dazai to chuckle warmly.

"I would my dear, but I'm afraid if I fail to wake up with a start I shall be pinned to the bed the entirety of the day" With that, Dazai waltzed to the shower, conveniently ignoring the flurry of curses preparing for the day at hand.

1 Hour Later

The brunette having finished the daily bathing ritual had departed for the Armed Detective Agency's Office, humming softly along the way. The calm that had befallen the setting was abruptly shattered as a foot firmly planted into Dazai's back sending his body careening into a restaurant table nearby.

"Ah, Good morning Kunikida-kun! To what do I owe this pleasure on th-" A foot to the face ended the conversation as Kunikida's scowl intensified.

"Where are they Dazai?! Don't play dumb - oh who am I fooling, you are an idiot but that is beside the point, where are my glasses!". A mere passing glance was enough to show that something was clearly off with the normally cool and composed Kunikida. Blonde strips of hair flew outside of the ponytail he typically sported, his vest wore small water and shaving cream stains from his attempt at preparing for the day.

Kunikida quickly unnerved by the silence he was greeted with promptly inverted the man and began to vigorously shake Dazai until two clicks followed by shattering could be heard. The two pairs of glasses that Dazai had found in his room tumbled out of his pocket, both landing lens first onto the pavement effectively cracking and in some cases shattering the lenses.

Tossing Dazai aside, the blonde man quickly scrambled to the remnants of his glasses, grumbling in anger as he saw the state of them.

"This will be taken out of your paycheck along with the damage from last night, I'll see to that you bandage wasting buffoon!" and with that he stomped off fuming internally on his way to the office presumably.

"I'm sure I will Kunikida-kun, but not before breakfast!" Dazai chimed out of earshot as he held up a plastic card with the name Kunikida Doppo etched into it.


	2. Chapter 2

The shops lining the streets glistened and glittered with the wares for sale. From pastries to jewelry, any and everything could be found within the store windows temping prospective customers. The brunette strolled idly by, occasionally stopping to admire the goods, or women within the stores.

This pattern continued until the steps of the Detective Agency were reached. A cacophony of voices could be heard, all of varying tones. Some were calm and collected while others pierced through the relative tranquility with the malcontent that laced their words. Eager to discover the source behind the conversation at hand, Dazai placed his ear onto the dark wood door, careful to position his body under the small window of the door.

"Resources, Time, Personal Belongings! This man has managed to squander them all, and yet he remains in our ranks. Noseda? Noseda" Kunikida said, pounding his fists against the desk "Someone give a reason why I shouldn't petition to have him released on the spot!"

"Because he's the second greatest strategist next to me - despite being a far second at best." chimed in Ranpo before returning to the task of pilfering through the doughnut box. Upon finding the next sweet to be ingested, he continued his dialogue "Besides, he has ties to the Port Mafia which will no doubt come in handy despite the initial burden they seem to possess".

"Yes, but..."

The conversation continued which each member giving a valid reason for Dazai's continued involvement in the agency. Just as Kunikida sighed and prepared to admit defeat, the phone in the office rang and Naomi sauntered into the adjacent room to pick up.

After the conversation had concluded, Dazai decided to leisurely stroll in, showering his colleagues in praises and terrible, head shaking jokes. Mid-joke, Naomi re-entered the room and scanned slowly. As her eyes surveyed the office, they stopped at Dazai and she walked over.

"Dazai-san, there's a man on the phone that wishes to speak to you!"

Dazai inspected the phone for a few seconds before perking up and eagerly speaking into it.

"Dazai Osamu Armed Detective Agency, It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, How may I help you today?"

"Dazai-san, I trust you know the reason for this conversation

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px 0px 15px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""Dazai-san, I trust you know the reason for this conversation"/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""Ango!" Dazai cheerily piped through the line, the false enthusiasm dripping off of his voice. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""Are you truly unable to remember?" Ango's exasperated sigh punctuated the end of the sentence "I will be at the Agency at 4:15 for approximately 25 minutes before departing. See to it that you recall the reason for my visit before I arrive". With that the line clicked dead, Dazai started blankly at the wall before him, idly fumbling through his pockets for the second pair of glasses. His lithe fingers wrapped around the brass arms of frames, scrupulously pulling them out of his pocket for closer examination, noting the approximate mass of the glasses. /p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""Interesting, interesting. They are heavy despite light frame possibly indicating a higher prescription. The lenses caught the light and glistened as Dazai meticulously examined the object for further clues. /p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""Round lenses, Brass frame. Severe weathering around the ear and nose perching area of the left rubber ear guard is missing and there are superficial scratches present on the curve of the convex lens. No doubt a practical man." Dazai continued the mumbled inspection, finally stumbling upon a small set of initials engraved near the right hand hinge./p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""S.A., well that all about confirms their identity." Dazai slipped on his overcoat and lazily strolled for the door. "I'm off for lunch!"/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""DAZAI! It's ten in the morning!" Kunikida shouted after him as the door swung close. /p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;"15 minutes later/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;"Dazai walked over the red rusted bridge, peering over the edge with innate curiosity./p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444;""Perhaps I'll go for a submersion?" The man briefly contemplated for the idea before deciding against it. "Alas, I must be off, but I shall leave a present in my absence". A brief plink followed by an outward ripple shattered the silence that had graced the river's surface previously. A pair of rounded glasses glistened once more in their final glimpse of the warm sunlight. /p 


End file.
